Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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