I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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