Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
