i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
