do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
