youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Randomize
