I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
