O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
