Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
