Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Operation Purity has been aborted
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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