last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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