I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
