On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
