What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
