Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
