that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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