It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize