I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
