please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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