you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
