Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
