i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
