if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
