Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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