PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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