Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
