I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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