That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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