That's when you crack a 10am beer
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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