I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
