i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
