He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
