We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
