Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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