Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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