I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think I am morally bankrupt
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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