So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
