My nipple is on Facebook.
Me too!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
