I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
