a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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