come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
