I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
