Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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