He told me they were just razor bumps!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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