Me. At least after what I've been through.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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