Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
