i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
