I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
