You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
