Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
