Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
